I'll Do It Tomorrow!

WELCOME!!

As most of you know, in one week I will be heading off to Guatemala & Haiti for about a year to do volunteer work. This blog will allow me to keep in touch with all of you and bring you along on my journey.

SO WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS....?

Many of you have been asking me, "Why are you doing this?" or "What inspired you to take such a huge leap of faith?" Well, it's something that's been brewing inside me for a while. And one day I stopped telling that little, annoying voice, "I'll do it tomorrow!", and actually took action. Next thing I know I'm sadly calling my mom to tell her I'm going away for a while. And shockingly, the first thing she says is.. "Ok. But don't be sad about it. Be excited!" But I was being asked to put my life and CAREER on hold to go out into the world and be of service to others for God only knows how long! How could I be excited? I was scared!- not because I had no idea what awaited me in these countries, but because I wasn't sure I'd be coming back to the life and career I had been building for the last ten years.

Let me take you back a bit... this whole idea was secretly planted into my mind about two months ago. My good friend Gideon (who I met on a spiritual retreat in Costa Rica) was visiting LA and we somehow ended up in Barnes and Noble on 3rd Street Promenade. Scouring through the 'philosophy' section, I came upon this book, which embarrassingly enough, I had never seen before- "Tao te Ching."- written back in the 6th century BC by Lao Tzu. It's had thousands of translations over the years, but I couldn't tell ya which translation this was...I do remember, however, that it was in English. Anyway, I open the book and start flipping through the pages, read a few passages, and right before I close it and move on to the next book, my eyes catch a little phrase...

"When there is no desire, all things are at peace."

I roll my eyes. Please.. what's life without desire? I have goals, ambitions, and dreams for myself. I'm gonna be one of the greatest actors that ever lived. I want that more than anything. Acting is my passion. I couldn't live without it. If I didn't have the desire to reach my goals, my life would have no purpose. Without that desire, I'd mind as well be a bum. Yeah...without desire, there sure is peace...as a bum! I don't want that. 'What a silly man this Lao Tzu was,' I thought to myself. I guess back in the BC times, people didn't really need desire. They just had to survive. But I was living the American Dream! How lucky for me! Little did I know, this innocent, silly phrase would change my life forever.

THE MOMENT IT ALL HAPPENED

The last few months I've been pouring my heart and soul into this acting group that I started- Inspired Artists Group. It's basically a group of passionate actors who work on their craft, hold each other accountable for taking actions to further their careers, and produce and write their own work. As expected, there were a few bumps on the road, and one night I found myself really frustrated with the whole thing, with my life, with my career. Yeah, who hasn't felt that way, right?

So, I started going off on the 'universe' and angrily demanding some much needed guidance. Once I had finally calmed down, I opened my laptop and checked the baseball scores... yeah, the Phillies had won again. I cracked a smile. I went to ESPN to read the full article on the game and then read some of the posted comments at the bottom and coincidentally enough some random sports fan quoted from 'Tao te Ching.' I kid you not! I don't even remember the quote because I immediately googled, "Tao te Ching quotes." And THIS was the very first quote that popped up...

"The Master has no possessions.
The more he does for others, the happier he is.
The more he gives to others, the wealthier he is.”

The universe had spoken, and I was not impressed. This was the guidance?! I kept reading this over and over and over again. I didn't understand what I was being asked to do. I sat there quietly, hoping it would make more sense. And then it happened... my intuition spoke.

"Step outside of yourself, and be of service to others."

Suddenly, all these ideas about going overseas started flooding into my head. India, Haiti, Sudan, Armenia, you name it. 'This is insane,' I thought. I can't just leave everything and go on this 'service trek' around the world! This can't be MY calling... my calling is to stay here and inspire people through my art. Forget this I thought, I'll sleep on it and I'm sure I'll wake up with a clearer mind- the same mind that brought me out to LA to be an actor.

I woke up the next morning and sure enough, the thoughts were gone. Silly intuition...it was a nice idea, but I'm still trying to build something here for myself. How can I possibly help others when I have nothing to show for myself? I haven't succeeded yet. When I succeed and have money, I'll do all that. I'll do it tomorrow!

And soon as I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to eat my cereal (like I do EVERY morning), the thoughts rushed back into my mind, but even stronger than the previous night. I was being summoned. It was almost like I didn't have a choice. I took a deep breath and cupped my face into my hands. I couldn't believe this was happening. Well, I thought, I guess I did get my answer after all. Just not the answer I was expecting. Not even close. It was time to call my mother...