Enlightenment is not at the End

This blog has been pretty quiet lately, but for good reason.  As this current journey comes to an early end, I will do my best to express this elusive, final piece of this puzzle that gracefully presented its silly self to me a couple days ago.  But before one even goes into that it is important to touch on the other small pieces that led to the unexpected "blowing-up" of this little puzzle.

As the final stopping point on this journey, India has lived up to all the hype.  I could go into the ups and down, the joys and frustrations, the likes and dislikes, but I would rather spend your precious time on something that has touched my little heart so gently and lovingly that sharing it with you makes me very anxious, indeed.   

Let me first say that I do not consider myself an authority figure on any of this nor do I hope you will agree with me and pat me on the back.  In fact, please don't, but rather just be open to allowing what I am about to share to softly pierce your gentle hearts and allow you to question a few things in your life, in how you see the world, how you see yourself in this world.  And although it may seem that my tone is harsh and a bit judgmental at times, please know that I respect all views on life and only wish to share some insight that may or may not be helpful to you.  In other words, take it with a tiny grain of salt.  With that said, here it goes.

I came on this journey to get back to my roots in Armenia, to see the pyramids and ancient tombs in Egypt, to learn Thai massage in Thailand, to find some answers and guidance in India, and the list goes on and on.  In truth, these were sort of the known stepping stones of the trip and I left the rest to my inner guidance, my heart to lead the way.  And it did.  But this final message to you is not about this 'following of one's heart' business, because that has been covered ad nauseam in these pages.  I would like to take you deeper than that, with a little humor thrown in the mix.  

In India, many people see the West as being tied down to material things, running after power, control, money, status, and so forth.  And to some extent they have good reason to think this way.  But as I traveled from one part of the world to another, I encountered the deep roots of many religions, such as Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, and all the other wonderful sects and divisions.  And most spiritual people in these countries have renounced the physical world, live very simply (sometimes in caves), some are celibate, others fast for weeks, but most find their safety and security in some form of religious ritual or ceremony.  The Christians cross themselves and run to church every Sunday so Jesus will wash away their naughty sins, the Muslims get on their knees up to 5 times a day and pray that Allah will save their souls, the serious Jews carry their Torah around and rock back and forth in their cute little outfits, the Buddhists kneel down to elaborate and expensively made statues of Buddha, and the Hindus pray to their many deities, paint their foreheads in rich colors and chant mantras.  

But what I found to be fundamentally hypocritical across the board is that although these people of many faiths looked down on the secular, western way of living, they were chasing after something very similar.  The West may chase after material things for their security, but the religious world chases after psychological security and safety.  They run to their churches, synagogues, and temples.  They chant their mantras, take communion, and believe in this savior or the other to bring them into union with this fearful, judging, supreme being most of us like to call God.  They believe that through all this ceremony, praying, and thoughtless ritual for the sake of ritual, that they will some day attain some sort of holy status and sit on some throne in some magical place called Heaven with 72 virgins, a Lamb, or some really cool dude named Shiva.  

But they are still searching, seeking, wanting to attain or become something better or holier or purer.  They run after these things called Nirvana, Enlightenment, the rise of Kundalini, or the Mysteries and make that their quest.  Some live in caves and isolate themselves from the rest of the world thinking that suppressing their natural, innate instincts is going to help lead them to glory.  Even the buddhists, who understand the teachings of Buddha and this whole idea of dissolving the self into the Ocean of Life, run around these monasteries carrying titles and bowing down to their superiors and praising the statues of an enlightened man who would be shaking his head in frustration if he was still 'in body'.  

After staying in a monastery for a week, I had to wonder how the monks would ever shed their individuality this way.  I sat with them for hours chanting, meditating, and taking part in all their rituals.  But it was very clear to me that although these men were living in this peaceful isolation, they were still suffering the agonies of chasing after something, of becoming pure and holy enough to be awarded with some Worldly Revelation- that elusive 'Ah-ha' moment when everything just makes sense and you feel this overwhelming freedom.  

So what I am trying to say is that man, no matter where he lives in this world or what he deems important to his life, is still suffering, in pain, and searching for somebody or some method that will finally set him free from all this.  We turn to our gurus, our priests, our doctors, our therapists, our rabbis, our spouses, or bank accounts for answers and comfort.  We think that if we earn a certain amount of money each year, find our long lost soulmate, win some award, raise a nice family, or land this big role with some big named star on some big budget movie that this will end all our suffering.   We think that if we pray, fast, run to a cave, chant mantras, do endless yoga poses, or meditate for hours a day or have faith in a savior that we will find happiness or some form of freedom.  

But freedom and enlightenment cannot be touched by searching for them.  Our suffering will never end as long as desire breeds in our hearts and minds.  I came to India looking for answers and only found men running around calling themselves gurus and using their holy status to get money from lost, searching souls who had no patience or courage to find the answers in the one place they could be found.  You see, you don't have to go to India, or read some holy or spiritual book, TRY to be in the present all the time, or follow some guru to see the truth.  The only way to live the truth is to look inside and realize what is the very source of your suffering- your thoughts.  

Desire comes from thought and thought is a product of time.  And time is limited to space, to form.  And freedom is not limited to time or space.  It is intangible, formless, unexpressable in words.  So in order to 'find' the truth (freedom) one must go beyond thought, beyond the mind, because the mind is stuck in time and cannot bring you to it.  And I am not talking about sitting and meditating all day to quiet your mind, because that alone will never bring you to the truth.  The only way to enlightenment is two fold... one must be completely unselfish (humble) and have a silently aware mind.

There is no method or way to get there.  Because any method will only breed the desire of wanting to achieve that state of bliss.  You see what I am getting at?  It is like chasing after this Kundalini energy, hoping that twisting and turning your body and perfect control of breath will lead you to this state of nirvana.  Nothing will help you find it, because it can never be found through search.  Only those with a pure heart will ever find freedom.  There is NOTHING you need to do to get there.  All you need to understand is that you are not who you 'think' you are.  You are not this self, this ego, this individual with its own needs and desires.  You are the whole enchilada.  This is what the sages mean by "know thyself."  Know what you truly are.  

There is no supreme being sitting on some golden throne in the sky.  This God, this everything, is within you.  It is you and you are it.  You are Everything.  That is what Jesus wanted to get through to us-You are the Son of Man - the savior sent to save the world (the Messiah).  We all are.  But let that get to your head and you lose that divine potential within you, that spark that lies dormant in most of us.   Humility is the ultimate key, because the higher energies (the Light) can only work through you if you are completely transparent, empty.  

And funnily enough, this concept of being the Son of Man is blasphemous to  most Christians because we are so afraid of the greatness within us, the Christ or God within us.  We see ourselves as these lowly, sinful souls that would be lucky to touch the feet of Jesus the man.  If one really sits down and reads the Gospels, it will be quite clear that this was the only message they were trying to convey.  But does anyone do that? No, we go to church and let some holy man stand up before us and interpret the messages for us.  Read John, read Paul's letters at the end of the New Testament.  The Bible is speaking the truth if you can "see" past its literal meanings.  Read the Torah, the Quran, the Bhagavad Gita, the Tao te Ching, the teachings of Buddha, or A Course in Miracles. They are all saying the same thing.  

Once this is fully realized and not just some nice little ideal we pin onto our fancy affirmations board, there is nothing else we need to do or know.  And the quest for greatness, answers, purpose, money, fame, recognition, or nirvana becomes obsolete.  None of it matters anymore.  And we begin to see that only Love exists in this world and beyond it.

And this is Heaven.  It is not a place, it is a state of being.  It is the truth.  And it is not outside of us.  Heaven is inside of us, right now, waiting patiently for us to walk out of our own prison and into freedom, to awaken the sleeping "serpent", the solar perfection, within us.   (the hidden message behind the Matrix movies).

And then we can truly experience the meaning of the phrase "We are One."  Because no matter what field we specialize in, no matter what our passions are, we will be using these gifts to help everyone, to help the evolution of mankind, to help the evolution of our universe.

But first we need humility.  A wonderful friend recently said, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." It is important that we use our discernment in every moment to know where to draw the line.  (The man who gives and gives and gives and forgets to love himself, is more foolish than the man who doesn't give at all. )We must first forget our 'selves' (our ego selves) in order to complete our mission.  If one has humility, then one can find the elusive, transformative key within- the key of Mercy.  Without mercy, there can be no understanding.

Enlightenment does not come at the end, it comes at the beginning.  It is right there.  If we stop searching, stop fearing, stop doing everything, we will see it.  But he who thinks he is free, is not free.  He who thinks he understands, does not understand.  He who thinks he knows, does not know.  

 This may be frustrating, you may be confused, you may be cursing me right now.  This is normal.
It is the simplicity of it all that will drive our conditioned minds crazy.  Let me put it a bit more simply.

 When we give up all purpose in life, we will awaken the sleeping giant within us and we will do many wonderful things with it as our ultimate guide.  And we will not care if anyone ever knows that we did these wonderful things.

To have the grace of being in this state of mind is to be free.

I leave you with this.  

'A truly good man is not aware of his goodness,

And is therefore good.

A foolish man tries to be good,

And is therefore not good.

A truly good man does nothing, Yet leaves nothing undone.

A foolish man is always doing, Yet much remains to be done.'

---Tao te Ching